I've been going through a struggle with my marriage. Everyone made mistakes and end up separated. In a lot of cases, spouses on both sides tend to feel guilty for what they've done. When a separation happens, the way we live our lives tend to change, feeling the loss in support, loss in friendship and all that. Mostly, I had to do everything for myself.
Now, I've been wondering what I CAN do to become a better spouse. With normal activities going on i.e. friends coming over on weekends, making my own meals, waking up alone, watching TV alone, and not having someone's shoulder to cry on I've learned a great deal on what my spouse did. It wasn't easy, that was something that should've been done in the past.
Now, with this being said, I create this article, asking for your feedback as the opposite spouse i.e. a wife. Husbands can also participate, providing different perspectives to the other. What was your experience? What was it that you changed for the better? What are your recommendations?
As for me, I've learned that when friends came over, I have always been wondering why it was so hard for my wife to have company. When my friends came over, they were not respectful with things i.e. leaving trash around, not returning things back to where they are supposed to be, to help with laundry (typically with guys of course) and to pay more attention to her needs (because I NEED the comfort and attention right now).
I hope you would post a comment a word of encouragement, not ONLY for me, but for others as well. It might BENEFIT you as well.
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4 comments:
Ok here is a few things.
1. Appreciate the things she do like cooking etc.
2. Help her with wash up or even putting plates in the sink when not need or finished eaten.
3. Weekends always get up and make cuppa before she wakes up as they like to be pampered.
4. When you have visitors or company ask your friends to give a hand so your wife dont have to lift a finger.
5. Spoil her on weekends if you go no plans or take her for a drive as they like to get out for a few hours.
6. Massage her if she has a rough day even if you have a rough day try sharing the massage.
7. Always give her a hug anytime without a reason so she knows you are there for her.
Hope that helps along the way :)
Oh another thing dont even say WHERE IS MY DINNER .. GET ME A BEER .. thats a turn off for women !!!
If you need it get off ya bum and get it :P
Take her to a neutral area, just the two of you, if you are near the sea shore, take a walk on the beach ,some times quiet time is what you two need..have dinner some where intimate.. try to keep the conversation going, let her talk, let her get it off her chest what ever it is that may be on her mind. Granted none of us are mind readers, so we need to communicate what we think and feel.
At home try to make things a bit less claustrophic for her, encourage her to get out in the yard, and do some planting together, as long as you two do things together, she will feel a bit more SECURE, but try not to SMOTHER HER,, give her room but at the same time stay close.
If she cooks, you clean up the dishes, even if it is rinsing them off to load up in the dish washer, at least it shows u are making an effort, hang up your wet towels, pick up your dirty clothes and put them in the hamper,, or hey even start a load of clothes ,,small things do not go un noticed..
Most of all give her hugs and kisses, and tell her you love her :-)
Good luck
J J
I would just appreciate her more, in big and little ways. Do things for her without having her ask you to do them. Compliment her. Help out around the house more. Spend more time with her.
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